What I learned today...

There's a big difference between green chiles and jalapeno peppers. Let's just say Sean's in for a wicked surprise tonight for dinner....mwhahahahahaha


Baby Nose Blow

I've figured out a way for Jared to breath a little easier. I am going to copy right my idea and market it as "life changing for babies with a cold..." and then in a quiet whisper voice say "may not work for all babies". Anyway, Jared has had a cold since birth and simply by mistake we discovered that if you put him on his stomach, he grunts all his snot out. After spending an hour with the blue snot suction bulb, I simply give up and stick up on his stomach to struggle around for 5 minutes...problem solved. As you can see, Gracie is not so sure how ethical the procedure actually is. Just look away, sweet daughter, look away.

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New Buddy...

I've got a new best friend. She's with me wherever I go. She's highly disorganized, a little dirty, but man, she's got a great sense of style. I call her "Giant Bag". She weighs almost as much as me and contains 15 million diapers. Bless her.


Really now...

Here is something you might not know about me, I have a horrifying phobia of dogs...and balloons. Balloons? Why balloons? They are so pretty and shiny and plastic. This is why. When I was young my brother would torture me . The day after a party he would grab a pin and say "Autumn, I'm going to pop this balloon." I watched in horror as he slowly moved the pin closer and closer to the balloon, my heart racing with every nearing inch. My face slowly contorting into one of abject terror. He would smile wildly while watching the pain on my face. Then when the pin was a centimeter away from the balloon and my heart almost bursting from the "pop" anticipation, I would cover my ears, run screaming from the room and hide in the coat closet, behind the couch, or simply run outside and down the street. I am not sure if he ever popped a balloon or not.

I now have a daughter that believes a party is not a party until there are balloons. I am fine with this. I have slightly matured and don't have a problem with balloons so long as they are in no danger of popping. Sean purchased himself a couple of colorful latex balloons and a mylar froggy balloon for his upcoming birthday party. (Sean, I promise to never make you buy balloons for your own party ever again...unless we have a new baby.) Gracie fell in love with the froggy balloon. I quickly threw the un-popped latex balloons away, but left the mylar one to bounce around our living room for a week or so. One night, I decided I'd had it with the balloon. I waited until no one was around, snuck into garage and dumped it. It's important to note that this balloon had a tiny weight on it and was fully intact. I wasn't going to pop it. There, the deed was done. The next morning Gracie moaned and complained a little, but I quickly distracted her by turning on the TV.

This morning we all woke up to the sound of the garbage truck lumbering down our street. This is terribly exciting for everyone except me. I rested in bed while Gracie frantic with excitement had Sean lift her up to see the truck out our window, their faces rife with the excitement that only a garbage truck can bring. Sean discussed how cool it was, Gracie's eyes were as wide as the garbage can lids.

"Hey Autumn," said Sean, the smile on his face now totally gone.


"My balloon! My balloon!" wailed Gracie.

Apparently that stupid balloon floated to the top of the garbage truck and was sailing along the top of it. Dang it. I have now promised to buy Gracie half a million new balloons next time we go to the grocery store.



Gracie is entering her princess phase. This is all well and good...beautiful dresses, magical wands, fun jewelry. Because of this I bought her a princess coloring book. I just finished coloring with her and must say I am unsettled. Every other picture was of a princess kissing a prince or looking dreamily at a prince or some other sillyness. Most girls enter their princess phase at 2 or 3 or 4, how young to push an idea that they need to be staring at boys. Where were the pictures of the princesses with books? I looked and couldn't find one. I want Gracie to know she can be anything she wants (so long as it's not a drug dealer and such) and that a man is not necessary to her dreams and goals. That is how girls end up with bad men. They've been taught by society that it's imperative to their happiness. I know there is no way that I can make Gracie not feel like she needs a man to be happy. I think its part of being a girl, the wanting to be in love. But I can teach her that there are other things out there and other things to do in the meantime and that she is special and deserves to be treated with respect.

I think I am going to rip those pages out.


Changing Ways...

Have you seen the Quizno's commercial where the lady takes a five dollar bill off the wall and shoves it into her mouth? Lately I feel like that's what I've been doing. Please don't get me wrong, I know that food costs money. Believe me, I am well aware of this, but now when I start emptying my fridge I am actually thinking in terms of money. Instead of "this is nasty", I am thinking "this is nasty and I'm throwing away three dollars worth of tomatoes". It's having a revolutionary effect. I am actually eating what I buy. Please don't pass out. My normal way of buying groceries starts out with me being full of good intentions of cooking, then mid-week abandoning the idea and eating out. It's been this way since my yester-years of college. Maybe it's because gas is so expensive, food is getting costly, or the natural disasters around the world have made me pause and take a look at what I waste and how others have nothing. Who knows, but now instead of throwing away 47 cents worth of old M&M's, I am going to eat them.


Poor Blog...

I've decided that blogging is a whole lot like eating healthy. Sometimes you're really good at it and other times...not so much.

I sure miss writing. Before my last pregnancy (which rocked my world in a bad way) I scribbled in notebooks, kept up my blog and had far more creative thoughts. Now, if I have a spare second I collapse on the couch and watch some show I DVR-ed three months ago.

Alas, all things change and I'm keeping the faith that eventually I'll have two seconds to rub together and be able to come up with some personal writing time. Until then, I'll have to settle for little blogging blurbs and journal entries that don't make much sense. They really don't. I go back and read them and wonder what I'm talking about. My posterity will think I am crazy.

Oh..and a great big HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! to all the moms who are doing their best to keep their kids happy, healthy and out of danger.

P.S. I did have a big mother's day blog written, but like I said, it didn't make much sense. I LOVE YOU MOM! about sums it up.


And I make you sneeze...

You Are Black Pepper
You may be considered ordinary by some, but you're far from boring.
You elevate the mood of any discussion, and people miss you when you're not around.
You are secretly very dominant and powerful. Most can only take you in small doses.


The Thumb! A binky you never forget.
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It was only a matter of time...

Sean has a new blog! It is Gublog. You know, like Gubler, only Gublog. Very clever. I think he wants it to be mostly about family stuff. Which is nice as I continue to blog about silly, random things. The only unfortunate thing is that you'll now know who is the funniest one of us... bummer. The facade couldn't last forever.

P.S. It is May 1st and it is snowing. Boo!