Merry Christmas Outtakes!

Welcome and Merry Christmas.
And now for the Christmas card outtakes of 2010! Before we get going, This is my most favorite of photos. I got Jared back for calling me a Christmas clown.
This was the winner! Yeah! None of us look crazy OR sleepy. Double bonus.
I love that we captured Jared's teaser look. He always has this expression.
It didn't start off the best.
Some one's excited to be here!!!

Have you ever wondered how we look at Wal-Mart? Here's your answer. Triumphant, rapping pose Jared, frazzled mother, and NO Santa hat. The battle continues to rage.

This is a darling photo of my men in blue shirts. But, in the end, my arm was determined to be a great big space hog.

Jared planning his big escape. Is it just me, but does Sean look very manly here? And aren't we all happy I'm wearing a modest t-shirt underneath my dress.
Here, Sean and I appear mostly normal, but I get an undercurrent feeling that both of us need a nap, or are on cold medication. I've also determined that my daughter does not take a bad photo.
That ten second button thing can be a bit tricky to figure out.

Here, Sean looks like he got a great idea! I look like I just got goosed.

This is probably the best of them all!
Merry Christmas!


They Stand No Chance

So, this cat from Shrek. He has a human twin. In the form of my son. Recently, Jared has figured out that if walks up to ANY counter, be it at the doctor's office, or the hair salon, and peeks over the edge of the desk, a frenzy will ensue until he gets a candy. He doesn't have to ask. He only has to look at the lady behind the counter for her to frantically start combing through drawers or her purse.
Heaven help me when he figures out what actually causes the candy panic.

But he won't for awhile, because he has an insane mother still forcing him to be a baby.


Varying Emotional Degrees of Karate

Yesterday, Gracie disappeared. She left as Gracie and came back a karate master, complete with a stylish little outfit. Sean, the intrepid family photographer, followed her around. Below is a documentary of the varying emotional degrees of karate and...life. First, HOPE. What are we without hope? At the start of any project, one is filled with hope. The desire to work hard, to succeed. The bright, shiny eyes. The light in the heart. The eagerness of spirit.
Second: DOUBT. We're not entirely sure how we got here. Chances are the outcome might not be good, let alone what we hoped. We've climbed high and are facing the possibility of falling, of scraping our chins, and failing. Failing big.

Third: DETERMINATION. But when faced with failure, we'll not give up. We'll take to the air and give doubt a great, big, what-what. Doubt will never know what smacked it to the ground, only that it saw a flash of white and pink.

Fourth: PEACE. We realize that what we're attempting might take years, decades to perfect. But that's okay, because we have determination. The hope returns. We'll keep at it. And at it. And at it.
Finally: CONFIDENCE. Our determination has paid off. Doubt has vanished. Peace resides in our hearts. We'll go forward, working, kicking down all obstacles in our path. The future is bright. Bright. Bright. Bright.
Get us some shades.
Hello Kitty ones preferred.

FYI: Christmas is coming. I know this because I bought a wreath that looks like a breath mint.


Not to be a bummer...

But I already miss summer. Hello. We are barely into fall and I'm already dreaming about sunny, warm days. Well. I'd better buck up because I'm in for a long haul. In fact, I'll have a new baby before summer returns. I also have nine million other things to accomplish before then, like a total re haul of the kids' rooms, potty training, and basement organization. But I did allow myself one good wallow and took a nap at six tonight, because I felt sad about the cold.

Any good tips on how to keep the winter-ish blues away? Thanks heavens for Thanksgiving and Christmas! Anyone want to come make Christmas decorations with me? I'll make hot chocolate. I have a special machine and everything. Any good reading suggestions? *Lest I forget to mention it, I'm about a month away from having an actual finished draft of my YA novel. Phew. I'm ready to check that one off my list.*

So as not to be a total downer about the drop in temperatures...I could'nt have snapped these pictures without the leaves. My kids were pretending to be birds and were nesting and protecting their eggs. Just in case you needed some background. I find a little background always helps. Not too much. Just enough to give a clear picture.
I will now pull out my cardigans, knee socks, Jane Austen DVD's and make myself comfy.


Lil' G #3

Number One: You must admire her daring in mixing prints. Number Two: The Charming Joker
And Announcing #3: A very wiggly, darling female fetus!

(This is actually Gracie, but you get the point. For the real pictures, please visit my fridge.)

We are very excited and due the beginning of March!


What is this thing called a blog?

A Girl This Cute Must Come with a Little Fight.

So, I discovered my blog again today and thought I'd share a little story.

I don't remember this (so I can't really tell you if it happened or not), but my mom told me that when I went in for my kindergarten shots, I threw such a raging, hysterical fit that they needed to bring in more nurses to hold me down. And just to make things interesting, I held my little (and I'm sure darling) backside so tight that they couldn't get the needle in.

Fast forward some 25 years later. I now have a daughter.

And lets just say...

What goes around.

Does come around.

I went in with fake blond hair and left with authentic white.

I've never really experienced anything quite like it before.

And I mean really...who actually likes getting flu shots? I know. No one. Can't really blame her. And now I will sleep better at night knowing that her fight or flight reflex is in excellent working condition.

On the plus side, I pulled out my MOM contract and it says I get a bonus if I get their shots done! I think a pint of B&J's might be on the next grocery store list! Or boots. Nice ones.


So...My Zuchinni called

to let me know it was ready for the state fair, or to be used as a weapon, if the need arise. It's a very accommodating vegetable. I roasted him with a little bit of oil, salt and pepper.
This picture makes me happy. I like to see the genetics at play here. Also, I like that it's a cute photo. I'm not a camera mastermind. To say the least. I must post the few that turn out.

Here's a cute shot of my little one, so you can see him before I show you this:

Not only did he crack his teeth, but he had to suffer the indignities of his father pushing on his nose.
Peace. Autumn


Don't worry, I'm still alive

Okay, everyone. You can rest easy. I'm still alive.
I just sort of forgot I had a blog. And who is going to update it if not me? Obviously, no one.

Lets go for random and no pictures because I'm on the computer with no pictures.

* Jared fell off Gracie's bed and smacked his face on the bottom of it. He broke his front tooth in such a way that he has to have surgery because the root is exposed. He's already had a root canal to help keep the pain away. Be grateful I'm not posting photos.

* Really. Why couldn't he just get a mongo chipped tooth? No. When he does something. He goes big. Like his mother.

* We've been on a GuVac for the fourth of July weekend and beyond. Way beyond. Sean had the entire week off work, so we decided to drive to all the Whole Foods in Utah and stay in hotels.

* We don't have a Whole Foods close to us and for this I feel very ripped off.

*We also learned more about pioneers, went to Lagoon, and did some shopping.

* I turned thirty and did not accomplish half of what was on my list.

* I feel okay about that.

*I got a Nook.

*I believe Sean also likes my Nook. Not to read with (which is my purpose), but to tinker. New gizmos are always fun.

* I feel positive that my e-book buying might get out of hand. It's just so easy!

*It's hot today.

*I think I'm done.

Well, dear friends, until another month or so.
Who knows, in three weeks I might get crazy and post a photo of Jared's teeth. Or maybe his new smile after surgery.

- Autumn


A little Ironic and Dramatic

Awhile back, we lost our camera. A pretty new camera. We took it outside to take pictures of our Easter extravaganza and never saw it again.

I kept meaning to take a good look around. I think Sean actually did.

Anyhoo, The G's preschool and dance program were coming up and Sean informed me that there was a groovy camera out there that took pictures and HD video. Wowzers. We ordered it, because we have kids and Sean loves to take every one's picture. (If Sean were to be a stay at home mom, his blog would be littered with pictures and major coupon savings. I've no doubt he would school everyone at coupons. But alas, I stay home and I don't care about coupons. I feel like they dictate to me what I should do with my shopping time. Also, they make me break out in a sweat while in the cereal aisle. Does this work with that? Do I even want this? )

So, today, the fruit guy comes to the door. Please keep in mind that I ALWAYS buy fruit from the fruit guy. It makes me feel like I live in a different place and time. One where the fruit guy cares about me and the food I feed my family, plus the oranges are divine. So, I answer the door despite holding wet, rinsed out clothes from Jared's last diaper episode (he has way too many of those), and graciously accept my giant bag of oranges.

Now, I just need to find the checkbook.

I search as I hold those balled up nasty clothes. I check my purse. Nothing. I ask him to come back in ten minutes.

I run the clothes to washer and start a load, and begin my search. Nothing, nothing and more nothing. I call my husband in a horrible panic and instead of hello, just yell/ask him if he knows where the checkbook is, and then, of all things, I start to cry, because my hands smell like poop and I can't find the checkbook, and I'm ashamed I didn't start our conversation with a proper greeting.

I tuck the phone between my head and shoulder and race upstairs thinking it might be in Sean's bag he uses for church. At this point, I'm babbling about how we never can find anything and need a better system. When, da da dun. I pull out the camera. Huh. That was obvious.

"I just found the camera, but I can't find the checkbook." I say in a surprised/annoyed voice right as my face accidentally hangs up the phone. My face is always hanging up on people. I think it has something to do with how my face is shaped-I've got plenty of face.

A knock at the door. I apologize and feel stupid because I don't have a checkbook and am afraid this will ruin my relationship with the fruit guy. He tells me its okay and that he can get his stuff to take my credit card information. Huh. A little late to be telling me this.

I thank him and go find my purse to get my card, when, ta da, there's the checkbook staring at me with a gleeful smile.

Now, I thinks its all a little bit funny.

Sorry about that phone call sweety. Things are under control. Really. really. It was my face.


Here's to my girl!

Dearest Sweetest G.

You're only four, and yet here you are, graduating, ready to take on the world. You've worked hard. You can read, do your additions up to ten, and know how to drive your brother crazy. Looks like you're on the path to success.

Another year of preschool and another graduation, then you're off to the giant world of kindergarten. Let's hope by then you've mastered the ability to eat food that is not cut up into tiny bits, as I might not always be there looming over your head, holding a butter knife. It would scare your new friends away.

I love that you love me for making your dinner, even if you don't like it.

Keep it up, my little darling, darling, girl. You make the world such a brighter, happier place to be.

- Your momma.

*Lauren Beck photography


A Dire Warning

Dear Asian Friends,

Lately, I've been receiving a number of comments in various Asian letters. I don't know what they are, or what they say. I consider this my fault for not learning Chinese. Unfortunately, a new policy is now effective. I will only allow comments that I can understand. I like mystery, but not on my blog. I'm not sure if you've noticed or not, but I'm not very mysterious.

To help enforce my new policy, I've hired some new recruits:

Once he tracks you down in his race car, he will head butt you with his super power: his mighty, mighty, spiky hair.
Yes, you should be afraid, very afraid of the she-tiger.

Finally, nobody in their right mind wants this coming after them.
I hope you understand and that there are no hard feelings.
The I-Don't-Feel-Well, and I-don't-even-look-like-I'm-running Runner.


GuVac 2010

Hey there, lets look at a lot of photos shall we?
The time: Sometime last week.
The place: San Diego
The photographer: Sometimes pushy, sometimes sneaky Sean

Why, no, I'm not exhausted and yes, I'd love my photo with this strange moosezebra!
Gracie the lion tamer. If the glass were not there, this would be a totally different story.

My little, lovely pests.

So, Gracie gets the cool ride and I get foam blocks? Just checking.

For her non-existent portfolio.

See what I mean about Sneaky Sean. . .

And Pushy Sean . . .

The photo in which my eyes look like green laser beams. Don't mess with me. I'll shoot you with my glare.
Sort of climbing, sort of looking thoughtful.

My loves.

Umm. . .too much non-dairy frozen yogurt? I think yes.
Sean is hysterical!
See you GuVac 2010! It was fun and we've got the photos!