This picture has nothing to do with my topic, I just get a kick out of seeing my husband looking inspired as if he is ready to conquer the computer programming world. When he was looking for a job, we took a billion pictures of him for his online resume. This is one of them.

Back on topic. I've come to a realization. I can't always be a gigantic go-getting goal setter. Ever since I can remember I've set goals, some of them silly, some of them grand, but I've almost always accomplished them. I don't take my goal setting lightly. I really think about something, ponder it, then ponder it some more. When I finally take the plunge, I know I am serious. I didn't take running a 5K lightly. It was torture of the truest form. A little after Gracie was born I made a conscious, well thought out decision that I wanted to be a writer. Writing is something I love, it's something I want to do, something I feel driven to do. While Gracie was in her first year, and when I was relatively friend-less, I wrote my first novel. It was a delightful experience, one I thoroughly enjoyed. The entire manuscript was recently requested by a company. It's an LDS Young Adult novel. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

As painful as it is for me to admit this, my goal-setting self is having a hard time keeping up with my goal, which is essentially writing ten pages a day. Every time I go to write, I fall asleep. There you have it. Right now I have a sweet daughter that requires constant vigilance from the moment she wakes up to the moment she goes down. Sean is gone during all those hours. I have a gestating son that requires constant nourishment. For the past couple of months, I've been berating myself for not keeping my goal. I have really never done this before, but after much thought and pondering, I've decided to switch my goal. I'm going to focus on being a whiz bang mama. I can't physically keep up my writing and I'm so creatively blocked that I can't put together a decent sentence. At least I have my blogging, that I am still able to do!

I figure that soon enough Gracie will grow out her terrible two's, Jared will be four months old and taking regular naps. I will be able to get back to my ten pages everyday soon enough, until then, I am going to focus on being a mom, and enjoying the time I spend at home.

I am going to let the guilt go and just be happy.


Fantastic Halloween Read

I'm reading The Historian again, just in time for Halloween. It's a perfect vampire novel, with a villain no teenage girl would ever want to fall in love with. It's not horror spooky, but has a more subtle spook factor. Totally recommend. Find it at Amazon.com

It's A Boy!

Sean and I went to our ultrasound yesterday and discovered that Gracie will be a big sister to a little boy. We are uber excited. During the ultrasound I caught a glimpse of the baby's face and I swear I saw Sean looking right back at me. It's a good thing it's a boy. The ultrasound doctor also said she thinks they'll move my due date up because the baby is measuring big. Very exciting.

I would like to post an ultrasound photo, but that would require a scanner. A) I don't know where my scanner is and B) I wouldn't know what to do with it if I did. I'll have to have Sean work on it.

In other country news:

Last night when I got home from the grocery store I found a weird bug being eaten by an even stranger larger bug. I decided to end the whole survival of the fittest fight by stepping on them.


I actually moved a dried out contact

I've finally got the Internet and it's super fast. Super cool.

I'm too tired to really organize my thoughts but there are few thoughts floating around in my head.

1. I've lost my friends and fun favorites folder. This is very distressing. I will now have make a new one. Bummer.

2. I'm sort of moved in. Everything is still messy, but at least we can find our tooth brushes and toilet paper. I figure it's a decent start.

3. I actually packed a bottle cap.

4. I'm going to glitter some pumpkins. I do this every year. Every one just has regular old pumpkins while I have rock star pumpkins. It's the one craft I do all year.

5. Gracie got a Little Tikes car from her nanna and pompa for her birthday. She's been sitting in it for the past three hours.

6. Sometimes I feel like I've been an unwilling participant on America's Biggest Loser for the past two weeks.

7. I got cable and a DVR machine. I gluttoned out on cable for two days then lost interest.

8. Sean keeps asking me if I know where his hand mirror is so he can cut his hair. The answer was and still is no.

9. Yesterday I caught a glimpse of Sean carrying my hot pink diaper bag in church. He held like it was a moldy stinky rag, about three feet in front of him with a scrunched face. I laughed for twenty minutes.
10. My father-in-law was so exhausted from helping us move that when he was at McDonald's he ordered the "Big and N*sty" instead of the "Big and Tasty" value meal. I heard this when I was slap happy and laughed for three straight hours until two in the morning.

11. I still haven't unpacked my camera or my scale. The whole thing has been rather freeing.


So Long!

I've just found out that I will Internet-less or Internet free for the next two weeks. My dear husband, who is in charge of booking utilities, informed me that he has no idea who we are going to use for phone or Internet and that it might take awhile to get it connected. I quickly screamed, threw my hands in the air and ran to post this blog.

I will use the next two weeks to unpack, book new doctors and maybe meet my neighbors.

Thank goodness he took care of the electricity and water.

Until then, I will miss you all. I will see you in two weeks and hopefully have a bunch of pictures to post of my new family room that I painted blue. I can't decide if I like it. I now have to go to Home Depot for the five millionth time this week.


A Life Behind Bars

All right, here it is.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to be arrested for being a poor mother. Before you start protesting and saying such things like "we all make mistakes", please listen to this one.

Here's the scene: I'm in Seattle, I'm morning sick, and trying to do five million things at once.

Gracie(toddling toward me): I pooped.
Me (wrinkling my nose): Yes you did.
Gracie: Change it
Me: Okay, bring me a diaper and the changing pad.

---she actually does this now!---

I quickly change Gracie's diaper and move forward with my life, which consists of me running the diaper out to the dump. I come back to find my daughter doing weird lunges around the house. She looks up at me, her big blue eyes full of concern.

Gracie: Bum. It hurts
Me: Well, maybe stop lunging.
Gracie: Hug
Me: (I pick her up): Is that better?
Gracie (now squirming beyond reason): Bum, it hurts.

This is when I figure I should check things out. Two seconds later I discover a diaper so poorly placed that I have accidentally discovered the next big thing in torture.

Me: Honey, I'm so sorry! What have I done? Please forgive me! I would never do this to you, unless, you know, I did. I promise I didn't mean to do this. From now on I will be so careful when changing your diaper. You are the most precious thing in the world to me! I love you so much, here eat five million m&m's.
Gracie's eyes are wide open with concern. She can't remember the last time I threw a fit like this. The next thing I know she won't stop lunging and won't stop telling me her bum hurts. It's been like this all week. On the airplane "Ouch, it hurts!", at home, where Sean keeps asking me why her bum hurts, and anywhere else we happen to be.

I can picture myself next time at the grocery store. Unwittingly, a social worker will be behind me looking for chips when a weird conversation catches her ear.

Me: You've already had enough butter and chocolate for the day, so stop asking for it.
Gracie: Bum, it hurts
Me: No it doesn't. You just want more chocolate.

This conversation will continue long enough for the social worker to call the police and have me arrested. I will be sad to leave my small family and new home before ever moving into it. But I will have learned my lesson about the importance of a decent diaper change.

***On another note, it turned out, much to every one's gigantic disappointment, the my mom did have thyroid cancer. Thankfully, it had not entered her blood stream and she is currently recovering from a second surgery. After figuring out proper hormones, it looks like she should be just fine, for which I am eternally grateful.***

***On a totally random tangent, does anyone know the artist who sings the song in the new Old Navy commercial? The one about if you're cold you can have my sweater? I can't get it out of my head and want to download it. Thanks!***


Mystery Solved

I've figured it out. The reason why people can live in Seattle is because there is approximately four star bucks for every adult. It's awesome. Hence the following scene.

It's yet another stormy day, for three days Autumn and her sister have been staring at downpours and cloudy skies.

Jasmine (Sister): What do you want to do?
Autumn: I don't care, maybe we can go to Starbucks and get a carmel apple cider.
Jasmine: Okay, they are really good. Sounds good to me.
Autumn: Awesome, I love the rain, it's beautiful and soooo green.

Repeat four times.

My trip so far has been fun. Jasmine's new baby, Ryder, is absolutely gorgeous and is such a good, mellow baby I'm having a hard time believing he is real. This is where I would love to post a picture of me with Ryder, but I forgot to pack my camera. I'm honestly surprised I made it here without losing my luggage and/or my daughter let alone my camera. It's best if I don't brag about this right now as I still have to make it home.

On a much sadder and nervous note, we are eagerly awaiting some test results to see if my mom has thyroid cancer. She's already had one surgery and we are hoping and praying that is all she will need to have. Mom, our prayers are with you!

In other news: Sean closed on our house. We are officially home owners! Rock on.