Stylish Villager

Okay, so I am in love with this scarf (the one above). In fact, I'm almost always having some type of love affair with some scarf or another. My daughter's closet would attest to it. My daughter's closet you ask? Yes. That is where they eventually end up...as belts for my two year-old. I buy them, then I'm not sure exactly what to do with them. I've tried tying them like the picture above...then I look in a mirror and discover that instead of looking like Grace Kelly or Marilyn Monroe, I look like I've just bustled in from the outskirts of a Russian village. Maybe I'll take a class. Until then, Gracie will continue to have fantastic belts.

Random

So, I finally feel in the mood to blog a little today. Lately I've really been out of the blogging habit. I find the mood just doesn't strike me. I feel as though this is completely normal. Hobbies and interests generally come in waves. I feel fairly positive I'll get more into the habit. Maybe in winter.

Anyway, today is one of those days I wish I had a maid. I rarely wish for those days as I love cleaning, but seriously. I'm really behind and those messes just keep coming.

I find that little indulgences during the day keep me happy. I record Gilmore Girls to watch at night. I allow myself a special snack. I work on something to make my house prettier. I find if I don't do these, I get really cranky by the end of the day.

I totally over-microwaved my burrito. It's hard now.

I'm not ready to get Gracie in preschool yet. She's close in age to the girls across the street and they are in preschool, but I'm simply not ready. Sorry Grace, your going to have to wait for you mommy to mature.

That's it for now. I know, not much of a post, but at least it's a post...right?

Wow...

So, Michael Phelps eats around 10 to 12 THOUSAND calories a day. I think I might start my quest for the gold tomorrow starting with a real big breakfast.

Can anyone else feel the change of season coming? I swear fall almost has a smell...a beautiful smell. I can't stop going outside.

Happy President's Day!

[Wayne and Garth are lying on the hood of the mirth-mobile, staring at the starlit sky]

Garth Algar: Sometimes I wish I could boldly go where no man has gone before... but I'll probably stay in Aurora. What are you thinking about?
Wayne Campbell: Cassandra. She's a fox. In French she would be called "la renarde" and she would be hunted with only her cunning to protect her.
Garth Algar: She's a babe.
Wayne Campbell: She's a robo-babe. In Latin she would be called "babia majora".
Garth Algar: If she were a president she would be Baberaham Lincoln.


Yes...I'm still here and Jared's size is beginning to astonish passers-by. I had to post that quote from Wayne's World because I can't stop saying it.

Random Thoughts....Again

Gracie has finally learned to smile for pictures, as a result Sean and I can't stop taking them.

Gracie might be pampered...just a little as this is the face I get when she really wants something. She may or may not have learned it from me.

Me: I want Cafe Rio for dinner.

Sean: The wait is always so long.

Me: (pouty face)

Sean: Okay.

Poor Sean.

Also, no baby yet, which is a good thing expect for the fact that I am ready for this pregnancy to be over and to meet our new little guy. He's getting big and hard to cart around.

Another thing, whenever I watch day time talk shows everyone is always talking about how busy everyone is. I find this not to be true. I think people make the time for things they want to do. For example, I should be busy getting ready for Jared, but all I really want to do is watch TV and move as little as possible. Thus, that is what I do. Instead of telling people this, I will tell them I am too busy to get my behind to the store to buy some binkys. I will then throw my hands in the air and protest that I just have no time.

Thanks to everyone who commented on my baby woes. I needed all the support I could get!

New Design

Yesterday I decided I wanted to freshen up my blog for the new year. I sat and stared at my blogger template and realized I had no idea what I was doing. I sat there for quite awhile until I finally realized that I married a man who charges a hefty sum to do this sort of thing. Hello! This is the resulting conversation.

Me: Hi sweety. I want to do something new with my blog.
Sean: Okay, what were you thinking?
Me: Something with birds.
Sean: Birds?
Autumn: Yeah, birds, I've seen some really pretty bird designs lately, and birds are my favorite animal. But I don't want it to be a hokey bird or a stupid bird, but something clean, classy and simple.
Sean: Okay, send me examples.
Autumn: Oh...exciting, okay.

Later that day:

Sean is sitting at the computer making me an absolutely gorgeous header with flowers, because he knows I also harbor a fondness for nifty floral prints.
Autumn: (peeking over his shoulder) I love this. It is so gorgeous.

We spend the next two hours designing a cool flower header. Well, Sean designs and I nod, agree and tell him he's handsome.

After the new header is completed, I realize I need to follow my heart.

Autumn: Can you search for birds.
Sean: (sighs) Fine, but birds have the possibility of being silly.
Autumn: I know, but I just love birds. Right now.

Two hours later...ta da! My new header. I love the little birdy. She's cute yet slightly dorky. She also reminds of a bird that would appear on one of my mom's cross-stitches.

I owe a super big thanks to Sean, who spent an entire Friday night trying to please his picky, pink-eyed wife. I have a feeling that if he didn't love me, wasn't so very nice, and if I wasn't getting ready to bear him another child I would be getting a hefty bill in the mail.

I actually moved a dried out contact

I've finally got the Internet and it's super fast. Super cool.

I'm too tired to really organize my thoughts but there are few thoughts floating around in my head.

1. I've lost my friends and fun favorites folder. This is very distressing. I will now have make a new one. Bummer.

2. I'm sort of moved in. Everything is still messy, but at least we can find our tooth brushes and toilet paper. I figure it's a decent start.

3. I actually packed a bottle cap.

4. I'm going to glitter some pumpkins. I do this every year. Every one just has regular old pumpkins while I have rock star pumpkins. It's the one craft I do all year.

5. Gracie got a Little Tikes car from her nanna and pompa for her birthday. She's been sitting in it for the past three hours.

6. Sometimes I feel like I've been an unwilling participant on America's Biggest Loser for the past two weeks.

7. I got cable and a DVR machine. I gluttoned out on cable for two days then lost interest.

8. Sean keeps asking me if I know where his hand mirror is so he can cut his hair. The answer was and still is no.

9. Yesterday I caught a glimpse of Sean carrying my hot pink diaper bag in church. He held like it was a moldy stinky rag, about three feet in front of him with a scrunched face. I laughed for twenty minutes.

10. My father-in-law was so exhausted from helping us move that when he was at McDonald's he ordered the "Big and N*sty" instead of the "Big and Tasty" value meal. I heard this when I was slap happy and laughed for three straight hours until two in the morning.

11. I still haven't unpacked my camera or my scale. The whole thing has been rather freeing.

So Long!

I've just found out that I will Internet-less or Internet free for the next two weeks. My dear husband, who is in charge of booking utilities, informed me that he has no idea who we are going to use for phone or Internet and that it might take awhile to get it connected. I quickly screamed, threw my hands in the air and ran to post this blog.

I will use the next two weeks to unpack, book new doctors and maybe meet my neighbors.

Thank goodness he took care of the electricity and water.

Until then, I will miss you all. I will see you in two weeks and hopefully have a bunch of pictures to post of my new family room that I painted blue. I can't decide if I like it. I now have to go to Home Depot for the five millionth time this week.

A Life Behind Bars

All right, here it is.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to be arrested for being a poor mother. Before you start protesting and saying such things like "we all make mistakes", please listen to this one.

Here's the scene: I'm in Seattle, I'm morning sick, and trying to do five million things at once.

Gracie(toddling toward me): I pooped.

Me (wrinkling my nose): Yes you did.

Gracie: Change it

Me: Okay, bring me a diaper and the changing pad.

---she actually does this now!---

I quickly change Gracie's diaper and move forward with my life, which consists of me running the diaper out to the dump. I come back to find my daughter doing weird lunges around the house. She looks up at me, her big blue eyes full of concern.

Gracie: Bum. It hurts

Me: Well, maybe stop lunging.

Gracie: Hug

Me: (I pick her up): Is that better?

Gracie (now squirming beyond reason): Bum, it hurts.

This is when I figure I should check things out. Two seconds later I discover a diaper so poorly placed that I have accidentally discovered the next big thing in torture.

Me: Honey, I'm so sorry! What have I done? Please forgive me! I would never do this to you, unless, you know, I did. I promise I didn't mean to do this. From now on I will be so careful when changing your diaper. You are the most precious thing in the world to me! I love you so much, here eat five million m&m's.

Gracie's eyes are wide open with concern. She can't remember the last time I threw a fit like this. The next thing I know she won't stop lunging and won't stop telling me her bum hurts. It's been like this all week. On the airplane "Ouch, it hurts!", at home, where Sean keeps asking me why her bum hurts, and anywhere else we happen to be.

I can picture myself next time at the grocery store. Unwittingly, a social worker will be behind me looking for chips when a weird conversation catches her ear.

Me: You've already had enough butter and chocolate for the day, so stop asking for it.

Gracie: Bum, it hurts

Me: No it doesn't. You just want more chocolate.

This conversation will continue long enough for the social worker to call the police and have me arrested. I will be sad to leave my small family and new home before ever moving into it. But I will have learned my lesson about the importance of a decent diaper change.

***On another note, it turned out, much to every one's gigantic disappointment, the my mom did have thyroid cancer. Thankfully, it had not entered her blood stream and she is currently recovering from a second surgery. After figuring out proper hormones, it looks like she should be just fine, for which I am eternally grateful.***

***On a totally random tangent, does anyone know the artist who sings the song in the new Old Navy commercial? The one about if you're cold you can have my sweater? I can't get it out of my head and want to download it. Thanks!***

Seriously.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed with all the responsibilities that naturally come with being a woman? How you're just expected to know things, accept things bravely, and cook? Me too.

It's been a long day. Nothing bad has happened. I'm just worried about my squirt. She's sick with a mysterious illness, she's scratched her burn so much I'm afraid it's infected, and I should have way more things packed than I actually do.

Thanks for listening dear blog readers, I'm just feeling a little worn out. But I will now bravely leave my chair to go cook some noodles. Cheer me on!

Don't sign me up...

Every season I get a brochure in my mail for community education courses. I have never taken one of these classes but that doesn't stop me from flipping through the entire thing, and pretending that I'm going to sign up for a class or two...or two hundred. There are so many things I would love to learn, so many hobbies and so many languages. There really isn't a class I wouldn't like...except for a few of these gems. My imagination will not be registering for any of the following offered classes.

1. Bobbin Lace.
Umm...not high on my list of crafts. I would have to wear lace before I learned how to make it. Good class, not for me.

2. Scrapbook Cards.
I've finally admitted to myself that scrap booking, and making cards from scrapbook stuff will never be within my skills. Instead I will enjoy the beautiful cards my friends make and send them sloppy handwritten notes in return. A gal needs to do what a gal needs to do.

3. Phlebotomy Certification
It would never happen.

4. Computer Keyboarding
I've already figured this one out.

5. Writing: Obituary Workshop
I could see myself taking this class to new levels, the likes of which they've never seen. I am sure my obituary would turn out to be nothing more than a fantastical pack of lies. I would get kicked out for sure.

6. (My favorite so far) Avoid Lunacy- Drive them Sane.
This is a class for couples and singles. I say if you are in a relationship that is driving you crazy, you may want to fore go this class and head straight to the mediation department.

7. Aquatics: Early Bird Run
Swimsuit and early morning? Wouldn't happen.

8. Medieval Swordsmanship Beginning
If you're really lucky, sometimes you can catch the medieval sword fighters at Sugarhouse Park. I love to watch and wonder what their real lives are like versus their fantasy lives. Not for me, but certainly for a lot of people.

9. Dog Obedience: Beginning
My fear of dogs is growing as I get older. My heart would stop if I went to this class.

10. (This really is a class) Forkbending.
I guess I can go and learn how to bend a fork with my mind. Right after this class I will strap on my hot pink superhero costume and patrol the streets for people manipulating stop lights with their minds.

11. Paganism, Witchcraft, Wicca
Living in Sugarhouse, I see enough of this stuff all ready. No need to take a class.

12. Stamp Camp.
Clever name...please see #2

13. Making and Using Blowtubes and Darts.
Umm...

So there you have it. Those are the classes that I will not be daydreaming about. In the meantime I will be daydreaming about learning 5 new languages, how to weld metal, and how to cook for a crowd.

As a Side Note

Earlier today I exchanged my drinking glass for a new one because I saw a floaty in my water. I just walked into my kitchen, apparently more parched than the dessert because I grabbed the first glass I saw and swallowed it's contents. As I finished I recognized the glass as the floaty glass. I drank the floaty. It's really bothering me...

Lately I've discovered that I don't have any creative thoughts or urges. Not one. None at all. I think the heat is sucking my will to live by zapping all my fun thoughts and ideas. As a result I just lay on my bed, stare at the ceiling and accept the fact that I am officially the most boring person...ever.

Why is this so? Here are some ideas:

1. Gracie has just recovered from the flu. Memories of this might still be blocking any fun memories for the moment.

2. I am finally feeling better from what ever it was that I had. I think it was a fun killing virus.

3. I am trying to eat healthier. This is a kill joy. I am still not used to it. Not being able to shovel food into my mouth at all times of the day has dampened my personality.

4. I am keeping a regular exercise schedule. Please see #3.

5. Sore muscles. I would like to use the bathroom or sit on the couch with out cries of pain. However, this does prove to be dramatic.

6. I went to the zoo today from 10am -1 pm. Sweat dripped off my body in torrents, each drop taking a touch of fun with it.

7. Bad TV. Seriously.

8. I went to Downey, Idaho this weekend to visit my grandparents. Across the street is the hospital I was born in. It now looks worse than a haunted house, broken windows, gigantic cobwebs, overgrown lawn. I find this both haunting and a tad depressing. Is this what grand things turn out to be?

9. Bills. I haven't had the energy to use bill pay and every day more mail comes, and everyday the pile grows bigger. I think I will pay them when I am done with this. I might give me some more energy.

10. Oh yeah! Hello, I almost forgot, the drain that our washing machine uses keeps backing up, causing our laundry room to be repeatedly flooded. It is now fixed, but I got a leg cramp from scooping out so much water. Kill Joy.

See, I can't even think of more then ten things to write about. I think it's the heat. I really do. Maybe I will go get a Popsicle, maybe not as I am trying to stay away from sugar. Instead, I will order these cookies and decide that being healthy is not worth trading in my personality...

Funny Alien Giant

Last night I had this dream. If it had not been so funny, it would have been horrific.

I dreamt that a large alien giant was on the loose. He had tentacles or crab claws or something for his head. He knocked on our door. For some reason, I knew he was after me. I ran into Gracie's closet and held my breath while Sean answered the door.

Alien Giant: Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum, I smell the blood of Au-tumn
Sean: Uh, she's not here, I think she's at the high school down the street
Alien Giant: Ugh! (turns and leaves)

I cannot stop laughing about this.