I Need a Nap...

In a fit of mad rage I just ate a plateful of semi-stale tortilla chips drenched with cheese and sour cream. I now feel blech. I blame my behavior on my ever increasing sleep deficit. That's right. Jared is slowly decreasing the number of hours he sleeps as opposed to increasing. I am beginning to feel like we are back in the newborn stage. As a result, I am starting to scare myself with my ever increasing scatter brainess. Please consult the following.

1. After packing my kids into the car, I realize I have no keys. I thus unpack my kids, take them back into the store and find my keys sitting by the cash register. That made me feel sheepish. Imagine my horror when on my way out, I spot my day planner hanging out at the end of a counter. Sheesh.

2. Three weeks ago I bought a bunch of stuff for a church event I am planning. This week I go to organize my stuff only to realize I am missing most of the things I bought. That explains why I was at Wal-Mart at ten at night trying to avoid a knock-down drag out fight with the manager. I was just standing there trying to be nice and mild as she looked at the book that registered stuff left at the check out stand. She found my list of items, but proceeded to give me nasty looks and a five minute lecture about how I should've called the minute I noticed the bags missing. When I tried to explain that I just noticed the missing bags and rushed over, she cut me off and gave me more crusty looks. At this point I stopped talking. There was no point telling her I wasn't thrilled about taking bags of paint out my trunk the minute I got home. I eventually recovered all my missing items and stumbled out to car, once again horrified at myself.

3. Today at Target I couldn't find any sandals in a size 7 for my daughter. I feel certain there are 5 million girls Gracie's age roaming about the general area. This has nothing to do with my lack of sleep, but is adding to my frustration and needs to be mentioned.

4. Last night I WENT TO BED EARLY and SKIPPED "SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE". This not only horrified myself, but Sean as well, who actually asked me if I was feeling okay.

5. On my recent vacation, my sister did an imitation of me. It included rubbing eyes and complaining about how tired she was. That is how I come off. Once again, I am horrified.

6. I haven't done my hair in three weeks. Not that this is new, but now it doesn't bother me whereas before it bothered me a little.

7. On a similar note, it was 4 o'clock in the afternoon before I realized I was wearing my glasses, had uncombed eyebrows and was wearing my pajama type outfit. I had just finished visiting three neighbors. HORRIFIED.

8. I am actually putting my old sweaty running shirts in the crib next to Jared hoping my smell will make him sleep longer. Now, he is horrified as well. Dear me.

There you have it. If you see a confused scraggly haired woman muttering to herself in front of the pop-tarts section of the grocery store, please call my husband. You'll find my cell phone on some random counter.


  1. How terrible! Wait, don't read this -- go back to bed!

  2. all I have to say is at least you are funny when you are sleep deprived! I hope things look up soon!

  3. I have had those moments! This is the first time in my life I have ever lost anything. Or not remembered where, precisely, I was driving to while I was driving there. SO sorry about Jared. So, so sorry.
    Hm, I've never combed my eyebrows ...

  4. You are hilarious Autumn! I love reading your blog! I hope you are coming to the reunion next month! It would be so nice to see you again. It's been ages!

  5. Happy Birthday! Jared has probably just been storing up to give you some extra sleep today (I hope!). Have a fun day today--embrace the sleep-deprived slap-happiness.

  6. Ditto to all. I think you are so funny. In fact, I have been overwhelmingly frustrated with my children and just needed a good laugh. So I clicked on your blog hoping you had put something there. I wish I could help! If you need a break and are ever in Logan, please stop by and let me give you some time to yourself.

  7. Autumn, I saw your blog on Mary's Web site...oh your kiddies are so cute! Seriously....it is so fun to see pictures of you..New York memories unite! Add me to your blog....aoloves.blogspot.com

  8. Autumn - You poor thing! Get a babysitter to watch your kids while you nap. Seriously, I've done it before! Especially when my hubby was working out of state. You need some serious pampering.

  9. Oh sweetie. I am so sorry! If I was there, I would totally take your kids for the day so you could sleep. I hope it gets better for you!


  10. Oh yes.. I know exactly what you mean! I hope you've been able to nap since.