Toeing the line...Mwhahahha. Funny.

(picture from my first toe debacle)
So, this post is a little graphic, in the please don't eat your snack while reading this. I'm queasy (Is that a word? Did I spell it correctly? It looks funny) that way. I remember vividly the lesson I learned while producing a show once. Never put up gross medical pictures during the noon news. Most people are eating lunch. Any who...lets move on, shall we.

Flashback...August of 2008.

I'm finally fed up with the intense toe pain I've been feeling for a good four months now. I am done. I am through. I can no longer wear high heels to church and what is the point of going if I can't wear them? Tee-hee. Okay. I didn't know what I was expecting but I most certainly wasn't expecting the three needle jabs into my un-cushiony big toe (right foot, for those of you craving all the gory details). The pain of which, I like to describe as exquisite. The kind of pain that hurts so much it's almost pretty, the kind that makes poets excited. Well, after that, I got to feel a pleasant tugging and pulling as they removed a chunk of toe nail.

After it was all done, I hobbled out to my car, shed a few tears, almost certainly ate some sort of junk food and carried on with my life.

Fast Forward to today....

I woke up with a pit in my stomach, arrived to yet another toe appointment an hour early, because I'm nervous. And yes, instead of healing properly a ball of scared tissue formed, once again, making it impossible to wear my high heels. Without that motivation, I think I would have put this off a few more months.

Anyway, lets repeat the above process. The doctor kept asking me what I was doing this weekend while jabbing the needle in my toe. Seriously, he asked my five times. I wanted to scream that I am trying not to scream and that I want to die this weekend. The operation was a success, until I get home. It is important to note that my toe is bandaged to five times it's normal size.

When I try to get inside my house while holding Jared and holding the door open for Gracie I try to flick my roomy sandal off. Well, they don't make sandals that roomy. My bandage flew off my foot and landed dead center underneath the car. Gracie looked at my foot and started to wail. I looked at the bloody mess and couldn't feel it, or move it as it was still numb. I patted Gracie's head and in a brave voice told her that we need to be brave when we get big owies and walked inside my house like it was a normal day. Had I an emotion in my toe I would've wailed along side her. As it is I still can't feel my toe and don't know if I ever will again.

But I feel fairly positive that in four week from now I should be able to wear my green leather wedges. I think it will be worth it. Maybe.


  1. oh, Autumn this sounds terrible! But you wrote about it so exquisitely! I especially liked the part where you tell Gracie you have to be brave with big owies.

  2. How horrible! But how brave you are. I would have howled. Best of luck. Those green wedges (and all your other shoes) are fabulous. They deserve a happy toe.

  3. I can't manage to quit laughing. I mean not about the toe...(I'm so sorry you had to do that again) but the whole scenario...that's rich.

  4. Wow, you made a terrible story so funny! I love your writing Autumn!

  5. thats awful!! hope you feel better soon! definitely worth a sugary snack for all that pain. did you have to go to the dr's office with the kids?????

  6. It makes my head spin to think of what wouldn't we do if not for the motivation of a hot pair of shoes. I'm sorry about your poor toe!

    p.s. Get a cat! Sonic needs a cousin.