IKEA don't

So I live ten minutes away from IKEA and today was my first trip. Something inside my head was whispering for me not to go. I should've listened. I spent three hours hauling my large, pregnant behind around the show room. After that we went to pick up our purchases. I suppose the entire time we were walking around the showroom we were supposed to be taking notes about aisles and bin numbers. They had posters that told us we should be doing this. That is all well and good I say, but what about those of us who can't read? That's right. We get hosed. Anyway, after hours of more wandering we found what we were looking for only to discover it wouldn't fit in our car. I think at that point I gave up and fell asleep in the gigantic aisle while Sean lifted me onto a large cart and pushed me out to our car. I'll have to figure something else out.

Honestly...

I have pink eye. "But isn't that something gross that four year-olds get?", you ask. Yes, it is, and apparently me. I also have a truly attractive head cold to match it. This after a 24 hour stomach bug. All this three days after I finally conquered bronchitis and a severe sinus infection. It's sort of like the lemon juice in my eye, salt on my wound, gravel in my knees of this pregnancy. My lips are cracked because I can't breathe with my nose and my hands are cracked because I wash them every five seconds. I don't want to be responsible for "that Christmas when we all had pink eye "(as heads turn toward me).

Thankfully after seeing the doctor visibly cringe when he looked at me, I got some eye drops that seem to be working. I've been in bed all day and am feeling a little better. I can't wait to see what I wake up with tomorrow! Chicken pox? Possibly. The mumps? Even better!

What I Learned Today....

Wrapping presents with a two-year old "little helper" increases the difficulty of the task from "moderately difficult" to "outrageously absurd".

Not only that, on my list of talents gift wrapping ranks at number 999, right before drawing. I find it rather amusing that I can be so astonishingly bad at something most people find rather simple.

Merry Christmas 2007

We did it. We actually took the pictures for our Christmas cards. Okay, we did this like two weeks ago, but I've been so sick that I haven't really cared. If you are the lucky ones to be on Sean's side of the family you will be getting a Christmas card in the mail very soon. If you are on my side, I wouldn't hold my breath. Hopefully before July. I suppose I could do them now instead of blog, but this is much more fun and doesn't require untold hours of searching for addresses. Instead, I'll show you some of the highlights of the event, which always takes way too long and never really yields perfect results...

At first, I was a little crazed.

Ten minutes later, Sean was a little crazed. Really, the only time I ever see him get a crazed look is when we are taking pictures. The whole thing cracks me up. I think I've married someone sane, then click goes the camera... Unfortunately for Sean I'm pretty sure I have a crazed (or grumpy) look from sunrise to sundown.

Gracie must be doing something really cute.

Me (with aforementioned grumpy look) having a hard time understanding why I am wearing a silver scarf and funny hat when all I want to do is go back to bed.

Tip 1: if you are going to tickle torture your daughter to try and make her smile, make sure your finger is NOT showing...and warn your spouse.

We got this stunner after Sean gave us a lecture on how we needed to lean better.This is the final picture we chose for our card. Sean thought he still looked a little crazed so we photo shopped in a new head (pictured below). At first he had a double chin, but after a little clean up he looks as good as ever. I am not sure where Sean saved the photoshopped photo, but with a little imagination you can get the gist of it...Merry Christmas!

Congratulations!

My dear friend Mary Richards and her husband J.B. are proud new parents to another baby boy, Ben Richards.

If you ask me, I think he looks like he's about to give a very important speech. Extremely presidential.

Here he is, exhausted after his speech that received a standing ovation. Those cheeks are darling. I love baby cheeks. It's perfect that babies come with built in pillows.

Mary is doing just fine. In true Mary fashion she was on the air while in labor. I find that so amusing..."back to you....ouch...". (She's a radio reporter.) She now has the desperately confusing task of trying to manage a toddler and a newborn. I plan on learning from her example.

Way to go!

Couldn't Say It Better...

I'm thinking about ordering this poster as a "you're pregnant and 12 weeks away from giving birth" gift. I can think of about a million places where it would be appropriate.

1. The front room: Why just yesterday I went into our "nice" room only to find Gracie acting coy and super cute, which means she's up to no good. I spotted her clenched fist and pried it open only to find a bottle of green food coloring.

2. The kitchen: for the times when I am trying to cook dinner, having it go terribly wrong, all while telling Gracie to stay out of the knife drawer.

3. The family room: this is where the arguments over what to watch on TV generally happen. I will interpret the "carry on" to not stop until I have won.

4. The garage: This is where I store all our cleaning products, poisons (drano), and tools. This poster will be necessary if I ever find Gracie in there unsupervised. I am sure this will happen at some point.

5. My bathroom: Let's just say that pretty soon stretch marks will be the least of my problems.

6. The kid's bathroom: Let your imagination run wild...

7. The nursery: I think over the changing table would be the best spot.

8. Gracie's room: For the time she discovers she is now big enough to crawl out of her crib.

Mmm...The posters come in four different colors. Maybe I should simply by two of each, plaster them all over my house and call it a day.

In Love...

I'm currently in love with all winter citrus fruits, from oranges, to mandarines, to clementines. I love everything about it, the sweetness, the tartness, the way my mouth puckers after eating way too much of it. I'm glad winter has its small burst of fruity deliciousness. Hopefully, this peak season of citrus will be enough to hold me over until spring strawberries, which usually bring tears to my eyes.