No chocolate, no clever title

Okay, so, I've been trying my hardest to be good and lay off the junk food. I haven't bought any in ages. That's means I'm being good. It also means I have (had) a giant stock pile in my kitchen cupboards. But,sigh, it is all gone. Completely. I do not count last year's Halloween candy, because I will never be that desperate (we shall see).

And, I can't go out and by any because I DON'T HAVE A CAR and I live in the country and I'm not going to figure out a bus schedule to get a candy bar. I'm also way too lazy to get my kids ready in the morning to drive my husband to work. What? I don't have a car? Yes, late last night it broke down on a completely deserted-absolutely no address-back by a corn field-road. The only thing I could think of was that hideous urban legend about the escaped convict with a hook. I'm not kidding. At any moment I was expecting to hear a scraping noise. Instead, I ran into an annoyed husband. We called a towing company and now my car is at a shop somewhere.

So, not having a car, and not having any candy is making me feel a little like this:

Yes, I eventually did get Jared some new pajamas. It was hard. As the whole toe debacle humored me, maybe a little too much. I've been dying to use this picture. Absolutely dying.

Dada...No Mama!

So, we went on our annual stay-cation this year. Sean and I are way to terrified to take our kids anywhere far, so instead we go local, get a hotel and eat like its the last day of our lives. Gracie is pictured here at the kids museum. Only four seconds of the day she is not pretending,please don't ask me when those are. She comes out of her room pretending to be a dog, and then a horse, then she wants horsey so bad...mom...can we please get a horse, I will feed it oats and apples all day long... Let's just say it would be a very lucky horse, but we just don't have enough room . Needless to say, she had a blast at the kids museum, where there is an entire pretend section.Now, lets move on to the following Mr. Cool. He finally said he said his first sentence. I normally would feel swells of prides, but here is what happened: I go to take Jared out of his car seat, he pushes me away, looks at Sean and yells "Dada! No mama!" Huh. I looked at him, looked at Sean and thought...well, at least I'll have something to report at his next Dr.'s visit. And just this morning, the J draped himself over every bit of furniture in the house crying for his Dada. Poor little guy. I'm really not sure what to do. I mean, I've felt the same way before myself. Anyway, in his quiet moments when he is not crying for his dad, I hope he remembers who gave him his flaxen golden hair and feels a tad bit grateful...

Man o' the hour, gotta love them both

Lazy, hazy summer

(turns out posting photos wasn't that hard)

Dear little bloggy blog blog,

It's been awhile. I have no reason to give for my absence other than...I am lazy when it comes to technology. We got a new computer and I don't know how to post pictures anymore and have no desire to learn. But I eventually will...maybe. Same thing goes for texting. I'm a lazy texter. I don't bother to capitalize or punctuate...or even really do it. Same thing for pictures. Sean takes all of them. I just can't be bothered to remember to pull the camera out of it's bag and capture a memory. It all takes so much effort.

Before you, dear blog, haul off and give me a nasty look, I am also lazy in other things. Let's recount:

This week I wore the same skirt three days in a row, took a one day break, and wore it again. It's one of those with a stretchy waist band and is so comfy. The good thing is that since I'm wearing a skirt I like to believe it makes it look like I efforted. However, I think the neighbors are onto me. "That Autumn, she thinks she's dressing up, but she's just really wearing her nightgown in skirt form." That is what my neighbors would say...if 1)I ever left my house. Which I do, to go through drive-thrus for some fries, and 2) if they actually cared about my clothes.

I have worn my hair in a ponytail for the past 308 days. I know I need to do something about this. I went to Seattle to spend time with my sister, and there she told me that hair is for styling, not just leaving on top of your head. I'm not sure if I believe her. That being said, my sister is so fashionable that she convinced my to update my accessories. I've since wore a scarf three times this week. Gracie told me I look like a grandma. I'm not sure I'm pulling it off

Anyway, we went to that arts festival last night (I wore my skirt), which means, for my family, that summer is here. Beautiful summer, delicious summer, hot summer.

So, here's to lazy summer! Here's to wearing skirts all the time! Here's to ponytails! Here's to making baked good for visiting teaching treats and eating them all myself!

So blog, I will now sign off. My duty is done, I've explained myself.

Until I learn how to post photos -
Autumn

p.s. in small defense of myself I do go running every morning and i also brush my teeth.

Toeing the line...Mwhahahha. Funny.

(picture from my first toe debacle)

So, this post is a little graphic, in the please don't eat your snack while reading this. I'm queasy (Is that a word? Did I spell it correctly? It looks funny) that way. I remember vividly the lesson I learned while producing a show once. Never put up gross medical pictures during the noon news. Most people are eating lunch. Any who...lets move on, shall we.




Flashback...August of 2008.


I'm finally fed up with the intense toe pain I've been feeling for a good four months now. I am done. I am through. I can no longer wear high heels to church and what is the point of going if I can't wear them? Tee-hee. Okay. I didn't know what I was expecting but I most certainly wasn't expecting the three needle jabs into my un-cushiony big toe (right foot, for those of you craving all the gory details). The pain of which, I like to describe as exquisite. The kind of pain that hurts so much it's almost pretty, the kind that makes poets excited. Well, after that, I got to feel a pleasant tugging and pulling as they removed a chunk of toe nail.


After it was all done, I hobbled out to my car, shed a few tears, almost certainly ate some sort of junk food and carried on with my life.


Fast Forward to today....


I woke up with a pit in my stomach, arrived to yet another toe appointment an hour early, because I'm nervous. And yes, instead of healing properly a ball of scared tissue formed, once again, making it impossible to wear my high heels. Without that motivation, I think I would have put this off a few more months.


Anyway, lets repeat the above process. The doctor kept asking me what I was doing this weekend while jabbing the needle in my toe. Seriously, he asked my five times. I wanted to scream that I am trying not to scream and that I want to die this weekend. The operation was a success, until I get home. It is important to note that my toe is bandaged to five times it's normal size.


When I try to get inside my house while holding Jared and holding the door open for Gracie I try to flick my roomy sandal off. Well, they don't make sandals that roomy. My bandage flew off my foot and landed dead center underneath the car. Gracie looked at my foot and started to wail. I looked at the bloody mess and couldn't feel it, or move it as it was still numb. I patted Gracie's head and in a brave voice told her that we need to be brave when we get big owies and walked inside my house like it was a normal day. Had I an emotion in my toe I would've wailed along side her. As it is I still can't feel my toe and don't know if I ever will again.



But I feel fairly positive that in four week from now I should be able to wear my green leather wedges. I think it will be worth it. Maybe.

Four Inches of Snow

This morning we woke up to four inches of snow. Jared found this particularly annoying, especially since we've been going to extreme efforts to invite sunnier days into our lives. We baked a pink cake. Dear April, how can you say no to a cake and a little girl with a squinty eyed smile? I even made Jared do his pleading eyes look...April, you must have a cold, cold heart. I'm beginning to think I don't want to have anything to do with you.

Alas, we had to escape to the Southern part of our state, causing us to feel a little unnerved and out of place, sort of like moles stranded on a beach.

And blinded by vast amounts of sun.

Eventually we got used to all the sunshine, which caused feelings of happy giddiness in my first born and handsome smoldering looks in my second. Oh, and total and complete confusion in their parents. I don't want to go into details, let's just say one of us fed our allergy baby some milk, while the other one of us totally forgot the epi-pen and the benadryl. Thankfully, everything worked out okay.
I can't think of anything clever for this photo, I just think Gracie looks all bright and smart about dinosaurs. You have a question, she's got the answer.And... well... same thing for this one. My bright and shiny little boy.

Okay...Spring, I will leave you with this photo. I think the expression sums up all of our feelings.

What a minute! I have a blog!

Here's a question...if you have a blog and you never blog, do you still have a blog?



Sheesh! A couple of weeks ago I was thinking we were almost out of the woods. Knock on wood, we've had a healthy winter! Then...Slam! Bang! Whoop! Never mind. Everyone is finally getting better. I'd rather not recount the details.



I am now thinking it's time to wash my hair and finally replace my old red shoes that I bought when I was first prego with Jared. I need new "everyday" shoes. This far exceeds any want. I find I am particular and have...ahem...expensive-ish (I know I don't hold a candle to a lot of ladies) taste. I'd rather go a long time without new shoes and wait until I find the perfect replacement.


Anywho...Let's look.
I know they are a ballerina flat. You just can't change who you are. But they are red and shiny...not silver or black. Which is big change, if you consider buying another pair of red shoes a big change...which, some may not. I'll just make red ballet flats my signature footwear. When you see them sitting by the door, then you know I am there.

Days Off?

(seriously...could you leave these faces?)
So, I finally finished all my paper work, evaluated my calendar, got the approved signatures (I only needed my own), and went to turn them into my HR department. I searched the scary corner in my basement (it really is spooky), I searched the coat closet (equally scary), turns out that department has never ever existed in my house. Ever.


Okay, people, the only person I really bring this up to is Sean. Here it is: the only night I have ever spent away from Gracie (and also Jared) is....when I was having Jared...and, well, I don't think that counts. Anywho, every now and then I get an urge to break away, to be wild and crazy. Usually I just go to the mall, bookstore, or fabric store all by myself. When I'm away I feel giddy. I find myself talking a little too loudly. Even as I'm talking to the sales person I hear a voice in my head asking "why are you shouting?".


Okay, so, some might say that I'm too attached to my kids. I'm not going to argue against this. Because it's true. I love the squirts. But, here it is, my dark secret. Sometimes (as in about once every three months), I sort of check out of being a good mom. I turn the TV on (educational cartoons only), I eat cookies, I don't sweep the floor, a tornado looks as though it's landed for good right on my house, I ALMOST fall asleep while watching them play.


I sometimes feel bad about this, but I've decided I'm going to let the guilt go. Today is my pseudo day off. My kids are happy and healthy and well, I've earned C in the mom department... but as we all know...C's get degrees (that was far and away my worst and most made joke during college).


And...just for the record, I'm planning for my first night (well three) away from my kids. It's in June. I know they will be fine, but I will be a blubbering mess. Because I'm weird. I know that. I've known it for awhile.